The Price of Power
by Yuki Hikari
Summary: Together they set out to save the world, to make it a better place. Somewhere it all went wrong. Now the remaining nations are trying to survive, while two superpowers hold the ultimate control. Lithuania hoped to be left to himself during what time he had left, but now finds himself caught in the middle of a situation darker than he could have ever imagined. RusAme RusLiet AmeLiet
1. Prologue - I Want to Save the World

**/**

**Prologue**

**I Want to Save the World**

_October 1st, 2028_

"Hey Vanya…"

"Hm?"

"Have you ever just… looked up at the stars and thought… the answer to all our problems are up there somewhere?"

"…Once, perhaps."

The American grunted lightly and shifted on the ground, removing one hand from behind his head to point it up toward the night sky.

"But _look_ Ivan, the stars, they are so full of things we can't even understand..!"

Russia raised an eyebrow and tilted his head back toward Alfred, eyeing the other who was lost to his expression. "Maybe _you_ do not understand..." he chuckled lightly, looking again toward the stars. _If only answers were so easy…_ Ivan made a face, his view suddenly obscured by a looming figure. "Oh… now all the stars have run away… except two!"

"..What-?" Alfred's expression changed from an angry pout to confusion as he stared down at the larger Nation lying flat on the grass.

"Your eyes sparkle with same intensity as stars," Ivan answered, his grin expanding as he watched the glasses slide down the nose of the stumped Nation.

"Wha- wha- what could possibly-" the American stumbled to find words, his face heating up with terribly concealed embarrassment. Inelegantly he flipped onto his back, his face landing beside Russia's as they lay in opposite directions on the cool ground. "… Make you say something like that...!"

Russia chuckled. "Stars may not have solutions, but they do carry our dreams."

"…Yeah… yeah… you are so right!" America agreed, excitement rising in his voice. "Everyone wishes on stars, people put all their hopes into them! I… I won't give up."

"Give up?"

"Ivan… what is your dream?"

The large Russian was silent for a while, taking a deep breath as the gentle night breeze flowed over his body. "I have had many."

"I know but… if you could have or do anything in the world…"

Russia shifted and sat up, pulling in one foot to rest his elbow on his knee. His hand, hovering near his heart, tightened around the fabric of his coat. "I want… to protect everyone who has given me these warm feelings… protect everyone who has a place in here."

"…Your heart?" America inquired gently, shifting into a sitting position, leaning his back against Russia. "Do I… have a place there?"

"Da."

Alfred fidgeted, his face flushing. "Yes you are talking about your heart, or yes I—"

"-Fredka," Russia interjected, grunting lightly. "Tell me about…your dream?" The larger nation smiled to himself and leaned against Alfred, his heart beating ardently in his chest. He knew the blond's dream, had heard it all too often. Yet he never tired of hearing the enthusiastic words, filled with hope.

Because hope was scarce, slowly dying around them.

"Oh, right, hahaha… My dream is…" America looked up and took a deep breath, letting the rare fresh air enthrall his senses. "My dream is to—"

A flash tore through the sky, illuminating everything around them with a blinding light, followed by a sound akin to the heavens being forcefully split in two. As the light faded, two meteors shot across the sky in opposite directions, reflected in the eyes of the Nations like shooting stars.

"—Save the world."

There was a long silence, almost eerie, as though a lightning bolt had struck and life around them held its breath anticipating the thunder.

The pressure against Alfred's back lifted, and he turned in time to see Ivan slump face first to the ground, gasping in pain. He opened his mouth to call out, reaching for the larger nation, but found his attempt throttled as a burning pain shot sharply through his body, knocking the breath straight from his lungs. The impact sent him doubling over, the ground trembling and spinning around them.

Just as quickly as it started, it was over.


	2. You Will Return

_Hello everyone! Welcome to my fanfiction... that I have been trying to plan out for... over a year. It's still a huge work in progress, but I hope to have at least 10 chapters by the time I'm done, maybe more. _

_It will be slow, but I hope you can hang in there, if this sort of fic interests you at all. Leaving any kind of comment will make my day, so please try to review! If you can. I will love you._

_The story is a darker fic taking place in the future, focusing primarily on Lithuania, Russia and America._

_Future Warnings:_

_Rating will eventually go up. This is a dark fic, so expect lots of angst and darker themes, some abuse, non-con (maybe not sure yet?)... but there will be a little happy too in there somewhere I promise._

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**You Will Return**

_January 23__rd__, 2086_

Sitting on the edge of the worn couch cushion, the fatigued Nation stared at the dancing flames of the fireplace, the bright orange and yellows reflecting off his irises of green.

A partially heavy gust of wind assaulted the aging house, and the Nation hugged his steaming glass of cocoa close, his fingers turning white with the effort. Gradually his body relaxed, the steam and delicious smell drifting to his senses as he brought the mug close, letting the liquid rest on the edge of his lips.

So long it had been since Lithuania had allowed himself the luxury of hot chocolate. Rare it was to come by now in his sector, he had very little of it to spare. But he wanted it… _needed it_, to calm his nerves, as he discovered the sweet liquid was capable of doing long ago when he stayed at America's house, and the kind blond man had offered it to him in thanks. It was unknown to Toris if the calming effect was from the substance itself or simply reminded him of happier times, but either way he craved it now.

It was something from the past he could hold on to.

Because everything he knew was falling apart.

Nothing was the same anymore. He thought… he had hoped everything would change, that everything would get _better_. Lithuania had put his trust into that man, to _save_ him.

Where had it all gone wrong?

_When you turned away, and didn't look back?_

For a while it looked like all the people would be happy, and the countries could live in peace. Advancements were made with a new source of power, an ostensible gift from the heavens. Societies all over the world began major improvements. However… change is often met with resistance, which ultimately led to another World War- a conquest the likes of which no country had ever seen. Much was lost… yet the people still resisted. Then… there was the sickness that put a stop to it all.

To everything they had ever known.

Where they even living anymore? Toris stared down at his banded wrist with a frown.

He was alone for now, left to his own devices, yet he was not free. No one was. Only two true countries remained, two super powers who together had conquered the world and shared in its wealth. …_Did_ share in its wealth.

Now things were changing again, though the circumstances and how he would be affected remained unclear. His interactions with other Nations remained minimal at best, and sources of news were long ago manipulated to fit the whims of the two in control.

Toris just knew he had a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach, a feeling he was trying so hard to deny.

A bang startled the Nation from his contemplative trance. He fumbled momentarily with his hands in an attempt to prevent a spill of his hot cocoa, suspending himself in place after getting the liquid under control, his heart pounding in his chest as he listened closely. _What if it was..?_

Knocks sounded in rapid succession, an urgency to the noise that demanded the alarmed Nation's attention. Launching from his seat, the knitted blanket that had been draped around his shoulders falling to the sofa, Lithuania quickly placed his cocoa on the table and walked stiffly toward the door.

_It's not him. It's not him. It's not-_

Toris gasped as the knock sounded again right in front of his face, though weaker, almost desperate… and the brunette realized he had been frozen in place with his hand on the knob, his heart drubbing in his ears.

_Calm down._

Guardedly he opened the door, attempting to peek through to the outside that flooded his house in a chilling wind, only to have the door thrust open, a small body diving into his arms.

"Latvi-!"

"-Lithuania!" the small boy cried, burrowing his head in the taller Nation's chest, hugging him as though for dear life.

Relaxing at the familiar face, his features softening, the Lithuanian let his arms drape around the other, stroking his back gently. As Toris felt the tremors of the smaller Nation in his arms, his worry began to grow, despite the momentary relief seeing his Baltic brother. "Why did you come so late? And in the snow-"

"I- I'm so… I'm so scared!"

Lithuania let out his breath slowly, reaching around to close the door while Latvia held on tightly. "Come sit…"

"Toris!" the Latvian looked up, tears threatening to spill from the corners of his violet eyes, his shaking hands clutching the fabric of Lithuania's shirt and balling it in his first. "It's _him_…. I kn-know it is… Ivan!"

A chilling cold spread throughout Lithuania's body, his breath hitching in his throat. He led the other to the couch, guiding the smaller Nation to sit while he tucked the blanket around his shoulders. "Let's get you warmed up-"

"Toris-"

"He promised. He promised he would let us be-"

"Look at our people."

Lithuania felt sick. Things were worse than ever, but that did not mean… "D-did you actually… see him?"

"…No."

"Then there isn't-"

"He's there! I know he is!" the desperation in the Latvian's voice broke Lithuania's heart. "All the time I f-feel like someone is… w-watching me! Following me! No m-matter what I do, or where I g-go, every t-turn he… Russia's there!"

Lithuania grabbed the smaller Nation and pulled him close, caressing his back gently in a comforting manner, much like he did back in the Soviet house when the other was frightened out of his mind. "Shhh, shhh, it's alright Raivis. It's okay. It's going to be… f-fine."

Latvia pushed at the other, trying to tear himself away, tears springing back into his eyes. "How can you say that-!"

"Raivis!" Grabbing the smaller Nation's wrists, Toris tried to hold the other still. "Please calm down! _Please_."

Latvia stilled, his glistening violet eyes glaring at the other, and Toris released him, sighing heavily.

"Raivis… look, I'm sure you're ju… just, nervous… seeing things that are not really… there."

The blond jerked his head away to glare at the fireplace, his whole body trembling, fists balling in his lap. "I know h-he is th-there!"

"But after what happened…" Lithuania stared forward, his eyes unfocused. _'I will protect all of you, this time…' 'We only wanted to help!' 'I will…stay away...' _

_We are nothing but his puppets, but… he promised to leave us alone… as people..! _

His mouth dry, Toris desperately searched for words to say to the smaller Nation.

_Finally pulling up his sleeve as it rang for the third time, the brunette exasperatedly clicked the voice button on his armband, his important paperwork interrupted. "Feliks I told you not to call at this ti-"_

"_Oh Liet thank God, I have something important to tell you!"_

"…_Yes?"_

"_I saw the cutest puppy this morning- it totally reminded me of you."_

"_Poland!"_

"_Okay okay calm down, geez. I know everything sucks lately but you don't have to get snappy with me." _

_Lithuania heard a muffled cough on the other end of the line. "..Are you alright?"_

"_Yeah yeah, fine as I can be at the moment. I got this weird feeling though, just thought I would check on you."_

"…_Weird feeling?"_

"_Yeah like, chill down my spine, have to keep checking my back, something just feels… off-"_

"_So you think… someone is following you..?"_

"…_Maybe… but aren't we always being watched? I wouldn't doubt it…Those freaken machines. Maybe I'm just like, upset over their paintjob. I mean really! … Just… be careful, Liet."_

Poland had disconnected the call immediately afterward. Given he had too much to worry over already, Lithuania had not given the call much thought at the time. That had been a couple weeks previous… Just four days ago Toris had also received a similar call from Estonia, only more serious and to the point.

"_Anything… different… happen to you lately?"_

"… _Nothing in particular… is everything okay?"_

"…_Yeah… just, the mochis have been acting up lately. Latvia has been calling more than usual with nightmares. I've just tried to avoid it all and remain busy, but I can't help but feel Ivan is up to something."_

Ever since, Toris had been on edge. He tried to convince himself that everything was the same, that Ivan was back in original Russia and not paying them any mind. Desperately he reasoned what happened in the past would not be repeated again, and that with everything that had been occurring the last couple decades… the past would not end up being the least of his worries. But that hope had long since been proven wrong, had it not? Though the occurrences were different, the causes for his people's suffering born from a whole new situation- loss, pain, and sorrow were still the same.

Lithuania knew he was only dodging his greatest anxiety. Had all the promises made to himself been for nothing? He would do what was best for both of of them? He would stay away? The thought of Russia chilled him to the bone, made his insides a wasteland where any viable thought had long since frozen in place. Yet there was burning, deep in his core, and that uncertain feeling brought the most sting.

Toris feared facing Ivan again, but…

It was clear now what he had to do.

"After all that happened…" Lithuania's focus returned to the Latvian, licking his lips and swallowing as he tried to keep his voice steady, "Ivan promised… not to bother us in our homes, that we would only see him on administrative business…"

Raivis turned again to glare at Lithuania, his face hardening. "Does that make everything _else_ okay?"

"…no… b-but-"

The smaller Nation opened his mouth to further argue, but Toris grabbed his hands in his own, staring into the Latvian's violet eyes with conviction. "But I promise… Ivan is not there. Everything will… everything will work out." Lithuania could hear the lie in his own voice, felt the chill travel down his spine and spread to his fingers as his grip grew cold. But he had to stay strong, for Latvia and… for himself. He would hold on to what little hope there was left to hold on to, even if it was nothing but a lie.

Tears sprang to Latvia's eyes again, but Lithuania acted quickly, grabbing the still warm hot chocolate and placing it in the other's trembling hands. "Here… d-drink this… you can have it."

Eyes lighting up, the smaller nation sniffed and stared down at the drink. "You… is this h-hot chocolate?"

Lithuania nodded his head in confirmation, offering a small smile.

"B-but how… they rarely…"

"I have a few saved.."

Raivis frowned, starting to hand back the precious beverage, but Toris insisted, pushing it back.

"At least drink some, you are cold." Turning his attention to his arm, Lithuania activated the digital screen on his wrist band, pursing his face in concentration as he searched for the house controls. "Let's see… here we are, heat and weather shield." Clicking conformation, a soft yellow glow began emitting from the band, pulsing momentarily before fading from sight. As though a switch had been flipped, the wail of the wind stopped at once while heat spread around them. "…Guess there is no use in being stubborn, not in this c-cold," Toris gave the blond the warmest smile he could gather. He could keep the house warm and protected easily… Ivan made sure his house was one of the first to receive the newest technology, yet… Not all of his people had the shields (would they ever?) so Liet stubbornly refused to use the newer features whenever possible, even if that meant his own house was falling apart.

"… Toris?"

"Stay here as long as you want."

"W-wait, but-"

Not giving the small Nation a response, Lithuania hurried upstairs, packing a bag with the barest essentials and a few changes of clothing. Clicking a button on his band again, a three dimensional blue-tinted screen appeared above his arm. Pushing a few more buttons on the floating screen, and a moments later a woman's face appeared.

"Hello Mr. Laurinaitis, what can I do for you?"

"I am leaving Lithuania on business for an indefinite amount of time. Assume command until my return. Region representative Latvia is currently in Lithuania, provide transportation back to Latvia if requested."

"Very well, Sir. Is that all?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Of course… Please return soon."

The transmission ended, and Liet sighed, running a hand through his hair. When had things gotten so complicated? The existence of the Nation personifications had been revealed years ago, and now Lithuania, like most, were directly involved with leading the… regions they were now reduced to. More than anyone they could feel what their people wanted, so it was only natural they should lead… or at least, that was the mindset of the two who first publicized themselves.

Slipping on a coat, hat and scarf, Toris returned downstairs, putting on his boots by the side door.

"Toris, wait!"

"Stay here as long as you need."

"B-but… where are you- d-don't go!" Latvia cried, as Lithuania slipped out the front door.

"I'm sorry…" Toris sighed as he closed the door behind himself, leaning against the wood. "I just hope… this is the right thing to do…"

_I can't afford to make the wrong choice, not again._

_..._

Receiving clearance to visit another region was not always easy, but Lithuania knew he would have no trouble getting_ into_ Russia… although, the humanoid robots that had checked his wristband identification made him nervous nonetheless.

He just hoped… Russia would be there, in the house he could now view in the distance as he trudged through the snow that engulfed his boots, holding his arms close as the wind whipped his clothing mercilessly. It was their old home from the Soviet days, far into the woods and in its own little private area away from the now domed metropolis of Moscow. There was no guarantee that Russia would be at this home and not another residence, but…

'_If anything goes wrong, if we ever lose each other… here, we can meet here, da?' _

Liet recalled Russia's face as he cheerily spoke the words to the five of them… so hopeful, and yet… desperate…

This home was the last place Lithuania wanted to be, but… he was sure… Russia did not want to be here either, not alone.

_But that is why I am here, right?_

_Because it is what you wanted._

Toris shook his head. _Stay strong._ This was it. Lithuania passed stoically through Russia's protection field, causing the form to waver and shimmer with the humanoid intrusion. As he walked through the shriveling grass and up the aging steps, snow that had hitched a ride fell and melded to the ground.

The door loomed before Liet, beckoning… daring him, to step forward on a path he had believed was left behind. Gradually he unwound his arms clutching tightly to his body, raising a hand to push the button that would alert the Russian to his doleful presence. _If he is even here. If he… does not already know…_

Resentment. Anxiety. Dread. His body quivered to his own cadence of nerves, a dance he had perfected centuries ago. The raised hand hovered in the air, inches from its destination, hesitant to make the final leap.

There would be no going back.

The doorbell caved under the pressure from his finger. Lithuania swallowed dryly, feeling faint from nerves.

How much time had passed?

Silence surrounded him, engulfing the air. Perhaps Russia truly was not here.

Just as Liet thought to relax, a sound made him startle, a bump from within the house.

His pulse throbbed-

-the knob slowly turned, the door creaking open.

Russia loomed, taking up the frame… his eyes staring blankly... dully searching- looking over Lithuania as though not perceiving what he saw.

It was the look which Toris was all too familiar with… the Russian's mind was elsewhere.

Lithuania felt his breath stop as the eyes locked with his own determined green, and the violet orbs sparked to life with recognition.

"You… returned to me."


	3. Cruel Nostalgia

/

**Chapter 2**

**Cruel Nostalgia**

_Lithuania felt his breath stop as the eyes locked with his own determined green, and the violet orbs sparked to life with recognition._

"_You… returned to me."_

_..._

The words stung, Toris felt his anger flair.

_You gave me no choice._

A smile tugged at the edge of the large Nation's lips. "I had feeling… you would return."

Sucking in a breath, the Lithuanian readied himself to speak his mind, eyes burning with resolve. _You can't do this. You promised. Leave them alone. Leave me alone._

But he found his words caught, his mouth opened uselessly-

The flash of life that had alighted Russia had faded, his gaze wondering past the Baltic as his whole countenance dulled again. His eyes were but a reflection of his clothing- grey sweats and a worn shirt, no color or life to them at all.

It made Liet feel empty inside.

"Why are you… here..?" The Russian asked distantly.

What… happened? Toris had not seen Russia in such a wretched state since… the time… _we all left_. "Ivan… I… you…" What could he say? 'I know you have been spying on everyone?' 'I know you are not leaving them alone?' 'I know what you want from me?' He could prove nothing… not from vague premonition… but that was how Russia typically operated. Never plainly stating the meaning behind his words or actions… leaving Lithuania to master the art of reading implications long ago.

"Can I… c-come in?" he finally settled, his nerves buzzing and pleading for him to turn around and leave.

Russia's eyes widened marginally, his head shifting slowly; gaze returning toward the Baltic to bore right into his soul. "… …Yes," the reply came finally, tentatively, as the large nation turned and slinked back into the house, his scarf billowing lightly behind him.

Toris sucked in a breath, feet frozen in place.

If he followed, no longer could he plead 'uninvolved' to himself, a sorry excuse to overlook the abysmal situation the world was sinking into, to protect himself and 'do what was best for both of them.' No, he could no longer- should never in the first place put trust solely in another. It always came back to bite him. He had to stop denying his nature…

Yet still, he found it hard to move.

But his mind was already made.

Dispelling all hesitance, Lithuania forced his legs through the doorframe one after another, willing his knees to remain steady as the wave of cruel nostalgia washed over his being.

Nothing had changed. The home remained a preserved memory of times abandoned. Although plastic covered most of the furniture, Toris could still see it all- the couch he had often collapsed from exhaustion upon, the lamp that had come close to breaking one to many times, even the dining table he could see in the next room which they had gathered at for many tense evenings… and occasionally, rarely, a content dinner with them all. Though still forced, Toris had pleasant memories of everyone- Russia, Latvia, Estonia, Miss Belarus and Ukraine, even occasionally Prussia and Poland- together, as a family. There had even come times after the fall of the Soviet Union that they all came together again, freely and with real smiles, enjoying each other's company… even those days had become nothing but a memory.

When was the last time they had all been together?

"Toris… would you like something to drink..?" The voice came softly from beside him, breaking Lithuania from his recollections as he wondered in a daze. Turning, the Lithuanian's foot bumped a glass bottle, stirring his whole body to jump in a moment of alarm. Rolling away slowly over the uneven flooring, Lithuania watched in his stupor, the bottle coming to a stop with a clink as it landed against more glass bottles.

Vodka bottles.

The smell of lingering alcohol became apparent in the dusty stale air and Toris frowned, his brow creasing. Some bottles were fresh… how much had Russia been drinking lately?

"Ivan...-" Liet started, staring hard at the empty bottles.

"Toris did not answer question." The larger Nation interrupted with a light voice, face serious.

Lithuania sighed lightly and attempted to hide his frown. "Ahh… if you can, a water would be nice," he replied, if only to give Russia something to do. In truth he craved something more, but given the state of the home, Toris doubted much substance other than vodka could be found.

Nodding, Russia went into the next room, leaving Toris to stare with discontent at the state of the main room. Everything was coated in dust, of that he was convinced even before he ran a finger across the lamp shade, clearing a palpable trail through the layers of particles. Although Russia had been staying in this home for what Lithuania assumed to be at least a few weeks, it was obvious he had not made any effort to make the place habitable. A spot had been cleared on a couch- the protective plastic shoved to the side, surrounded on the floor by many of the stray empty vodka bottles- where the large nation presumably sat. It was the only evidence in the room that a life was even present in the outdated home.

Toris could feel his frustrations rising. How could Russia live in such a condition? What was causing him such pain? And _why should I even care_. Grabbing the plastic, he ripped it off, throwing the protective tarp to the floor and exposing the full couch to the elements_. I came here to stop Russia's behavior, not to worry about his wellbeing!_ After setting his backpack and outer clothing to the side, the Lithuanian dropped down unto the couch, placing his head in his hands with a groan_. Ivan_…

Hearing footsteps, Liet turned and raised his head, looking into the quizzical expression of the Russian as he regarded the couch not seen entirety in ages. Opting not to comment, Russia sat down beside Toris, the cushion dipping and creaking under his weight. He handed the brunet a glass of water, which Liet took carefully with a shaky hand- he was not prepared for physical contact, even though gloved fingers. Even being this close to the Russian sent familiar tingles throughout the Lithuanian, his body anticipating, burning with the notion that the Russian might touch him. It would bring back too many memories… too many feelings.

He could barely even bring himself to talk.

Toris took a sip, letting the cool liquid slide down his burning throat. Chancing a glance at Russia, he saw that the huge country was staring off into nothing again, almost as though he was avoiding looking at the Lithuanian.

Or perhaps he could not bring himself to.

"…I am glad you made choice to come here," the Russian spoke finally, voice still hesitant. "It has been… lonely, recently." Ivan turned toward Toris, a sad smile curling on the edge of his lips. "Though I suppose that is my fault as well."

That feeling. Toris could not understand it. No matter what words Ivan spoke… somehow it always made him feel numb inside. His green eyes sized up the unreadable Russian, trying desperately to figure out even a fraction of what was going on.

"Ivan…" Liet felt his voice crack. "Why did you come back here..? W-why are you here… why are you n-not with-"

"-I needed time for thinking," the large nation interrupted. "I ask you same thing earlier and received no answer."

Toris tensed defensively. "Do you not want me here?"

Visibly the large Russian deflated, his eyes pained. "I never said such thing." Ivan reached out, almost urgently- "It is just unbelievable that-"

The Lithuanian flinched away before the touch could reach him.

Pulling back with a deepening frown, Ivan continued. "-that I would see you… after everything…" he got up suddenly, turning from Toris and heading toward the stairs. "You are always welcome here… You know that."

"-Wait..!" The soft word left Toris too late, and he stared in dismay as the sound of a closing door echoed throughout the house.

How could he be so senseless? Lithuania placed his head in his hands again, regretting his outburst. It was obvious there was more to this situation then he knew… and Liet realized he could not bring himself to leave until he figured out the cause of Russia's behavior.

Yet he also knew not to bother Ivan when he wanted to be alone.

Toris glanced around dejectedly at the room, and all the bottles littering the floor. Perhaps he could buy some time… until Russia decided to speak with him again.

This place needed a lot of work… and Toris was not sure when he would be able to return home.

. . .

How long had he been cleaning? Toris had lost track of the time. It seemed not much had been accomplished- he had hardly gotten past the main room, dining room and kitchen. Plastic was removed from the tables and chairs, the furniture was dusted, all the bottles were sent into recycling. He had cleaned a few stains and started on the floors before he found himself laid out on the couch from exhaustion.

Not a sound had been heard from upstairs except an occasional creek or thump, and that had been hours ago.

_Guess I will be here a while._

His eyelids grew heavy.

. . .

What do you mean… No you can't….

Toris felt himself lift off the ground, it was almost as if he was floating.

How could they do such a thing?

He watched as if from a distance, the whole world falling apart around him.

Suddenly there were humanoid robots all around him, surrounding him. Closing in. Their eyes glowing ominously, one red and one blue.

It is for your own good.

For the good of the world.

_No this is not right..! You can't just force us all to comply!_ Lithuania yelled toward Russia, but the large nation was so far away. Way out of his reach, beside America. His back turned.

_They are happy together, it is for the best. I could never…_

_I will not look back._

Liet could not look back.

A band clamped around his arm, pulling him down, but the small nation struggled, breaking free.

He ran. Through the cities, the trees. Broken unfinished buildings. Unfinished dreams.

Bodies everywhere.

They were collapsing, one after another. Not just here… they were falling, disappearing,-everywhere. Where did those countries go…!? Where were they… what happened… Lithuania looked around desperately. The people were dying- dropping off, like flies. Refusing.

Luminescent screens everywhere, on the walls, the floor, the sky, even floating. His face- those violet eyes… or were they blue?- every direction the brunette looked. The cure. The only cure.

Toris felt his wrist burning. He looked at his arm. The metal band was back, squeezing tighter and tighter.

He could not get it off. It melted into his skin, expanded and began snaking up his arm.

The robots were everywhere… when had there been so many? They were white, closing in like a blizzard, surrounding him again.

Lithuania saw his flag in the distance, but it was changed, altered. He ran, but no matter how much, the image of the red star still bore into his mind.

His face was wet. Tears. Falling to the ground, the twisting metal bands wound around his legs, trapping him. The red and blue eyes surrounded the fallen nation, glowing, deadly.

There was no where he could run.

The robots grabbed him and held him down with cold fingers, digging into his arms, grabbing the back of his hair.

Lithuania felt a familiar scarf brush against his skin.

'_You will do what we say now, da?'_

Gasping, Toris shot upright in a silent scream, his eyes wild and searching, his body covered in a cold sweat. The Lithuanian could hear his own heartbeat pounding in his head, felt his pulse throbbing throughout his body as he gripped whatever was around him for dear life. _Where am I-!?_ There was nothing but darkness and faint outlines his frazzled state of mind could not distinguish, highlighted by the glow of light escaping past the curtains on the windows.

_Deep breaths. Deep breaths._ Liet tried to calm his frantic heartbeat, attempted to steady his quick and erratic breathing. _Was that… a dream..? When did I…_

Toris froze, staring straight ahead, becoming suddenly aware of the covers twisted around him, the sheets balled up tightly in his shaking hands. He remembered cleaning… and sitting down on a couch… _When did I get in a bed?_

A thump, the sound of a chair sliding back against wood. The quivering Nation went rigid, his breath hitching in his throat. He refused to turn toward the tall figure looming in his peripheral vision, knowing exactly who it was.

_I am still dreaming. I am still dreaming._ Closing his eyes, Toris tried desperately to concentrate on calming his nerves, taking deep breathes. _It was just a dream. No one is there. I am in my own bed at home._

He could feel the violet eyes staring at him. His body would not stop shaking, his hands were clammy with fear.

"Toris…" Russia's voice spoke gently. Lithuania locked his eyes tighter as the bed creaked, dipping under the large nation's heavy form.

_He is not there. He is not there._ Suddenly, a cold touch on his face. Russia carefully wiped away the tear that traveled down his streaked cheeks. Toris sucked in a breath, holding back a sob.

"You were having bad dream," Russia stated.

Lithuania's eyes snapped open, staring directly into the concerned violet before him.

_Ivan is right. It was just a dream._ Memories from earlier flooded his mind. The cleaning. Returning to the house. Russia. Robots. Snow. Latvia.

"Whose fault do you think that is-!" Toris cried edgily, unable to hold back his anxieties anymore. The images from the dream still haunting his consciousness, his state of mind.

The large nation pulled back, hurt apparent in his eyes.

"And after everything you are still- You s-set it up for me to come here! You knew I w-would! Why are you not leaving them alone… like you promised!"

"Toris I do not know what you are talking-"

"STOP LYING! You knew this would happen… you knew I would come if you…"

"Toris…" Russia interrupted gently. "I only… was concerned." His face contorted, choosing his words carefully. "I wanted to make sure… everyone was still there… still okay."

"What…do you…"

"I know I said I would not get near but… things are happening and… my family… you are all important to me."

Why did he feel so guilty? Was Russia really that worried about them? What was going on? Toris felt his face. Crying. He was crying again, the tears spilling from his eyes that had not unlocked from Russia's gaze. "Wh-what things are happening-! How long are you planning on staying here? Where is_ Alfred_-"

Russia froze, his face melting into an expressionless void. Suddenly Liet found himself embraced in the large Nation's arms, held tight to the other's chest as though for dear life.

"I am just glad… you are here."

Toris tensed, wanting to pull away. But he could not… did not wish to. It had been so long… his tears fell silently as he relaxed against the Nation, his chin resting easily on the large shoulders as he shuddered. Lithuania breathed in deeply. Vodka. Russia's scent. Even the slight tinge of frigid winter air remained despite Ivan's apparent lack of outside contact, as though General Winter lingered over the Nation himself. The scents were still familiar despite the extent of time the two countries had been apart.

Oddly the familiarly brought Liet comfort, just as it had formerly-

Even if the source of comfort shared the same face as the nightmares of his past.


	4. Embrace of Loneliness

**/**

**Chapter 3**

**Embrace of Loneliness**

Four days had passed since the night Toris found himself back in the former Soviet household.

Progress was slow in every aspect except the cleaning, which Liet had taken on with vigor. Having nothing else to do, he decided to continue improving the state of the home and hopefully lift the spirits of the disheartened Russian. Every moment he had to speak with Ivan, the large nation only locked up further in his troubled mind the more the Lithuanian pried. It did not take Toris long to catch on- any mentioning of his American partner, and Russia would disappear to another part of the home where vodka was undoubtedly stored.

Lithuania knew something had happened between them, but the details were still unclear. All informational broadcasts airing before he had arrived spoke as though life in the American-Russian Alliance was continuing as usual. It did not help that everyone in the Russian sector was kept in the dark about most of the world, only getting brief transmissions from Russia himself, sometimes with America by his side. But no one was aware of what words were truths, and what was an elaborate lie.

Even being the Consul of Lithuania gave Toris minimal advantage over knowledge of foreign affairs. His insistence on being left alone with his people had led to that. Regardless, that was now how the remainder of them lived. It was the deal struck after the war, for Russia's personal districts. They would be left alone as long as they did not cause any trouble, followed the set regulations…complied to all new technological implements that were necessary…

Toris startled as his fist bumped the porcelain vase on the table, and expertly he caught it before the fragile object could shatter upon the hard surface. For moments he stared hard at the table, taking a deep breath as his hand lingered, clasping the ceramic artifact. He recognized that, unbeknownst he had been rubbing the same spot over and over again, in exacerbation.

Cleaning was the best way Lithuania knew to distract his own mind, and yet even that was proving ineffective.

Carefully he placed the vase back in the center of the table, frowning at how vacant and hollow the container looked without the usual sunflowers inside.

. . .

"Display Identification," the robotic voice commanded, its shining red eye and blue eye staring straight down at the small being before it. On Lithuania's right stood another robotic humanoid of the same build as the first, its optics also locked on every move the brunet made as he waited in the entrance way to the great city. They stood a few heads taller than Toris and about three times as broad, with white plating covering their intricate circuits and machinery. To say they were frightening was an understatement- it was not that they were horrifying in appearance, but their presence spoke of overbearing fear.

Toris carefully raised his left arm, tensing as the heads followed his every movement.

Getting accustomed to the ASH was a stipulation proved impossible. The white giants had been about since the last war, yet still the Lithuanian found himself shrinking in their presence. Artificial Super Human they had been designated, created to replace the necessity for humans in dangerous and imperative situations. They were large enough to lift even someone with Ivan's build up in their intricate arms, and strong enough to warrant guns, tanks and other weapons obsolete.

They were the ultimate tool to '_keep the peace_.'

Everywhere ASH were stationed- regularly patrolling the streets, guarding entrance ways... once even, Toris recalled with a flash of unease, he insisted he saw one outside his window in Vilnius.

Staring right at him.

Yet a double take revealed nothing but his vacant yard.

The ASH unit locked on to the raised arm of Lithuania, its blue right eye glowing. The band around the brunet's arm shined a bright blue in return, giving off and audible beep before both objects dulled once again. "Identity confirmed, Toris Laurinaitis may proceed," the robot before him spoke, stepping aside with a whirl of smooth mechanics.

Taking no time to comply, Toris hurried past, keeping his gaze lowered as he passed into what could only be described as a utopia- at least visibly. It was, unlike much of the rest of Russia's division outside of the original country, not partially falling to ruin due to consequence of the war. His own greatest city paled in comparison to Moscow, the centerpiece for innovation on Russia's half of the globe. But the Lithuanian had no time for the flashing lights and sounds, the moving platforms and the white pods that floated past at great speeds.

He wanted to get out as soon as possible.

It was suffocating. Everywhere the feeling of being observed lingered, worse than other places Toris usually occupied.

He had needed to get out of the house, and yet… this place offered no respite.

But the trip was necessary, and the travel to checkpoints outside the city fast for non-humans like himself, thanks to the transport doors typically used for the ASH and supplies. The past Soviet home was out of groceries, but that was not the entire reasoning… he could get the food transported there, easily enough. More importantly… he needed someone to talk to. For an unknown reason, he could not get a call out from Russia's house, despite the fact that the signals should reach every part of the globe. Toris suspected Ivan had some reason to not want anyone to contact him, which was only more disconcerting to the concerned nation.

Lithuania sighed heavily, folding his arms together. The air was not cold thanks to the artificial temperature control, and yet all he could feel was an absence of warmth while he glanced around, observing the people. A couple sat together at a table, smiling toward each other. To the right two children played, running ahead of their mother who jogged to keep up. Alone a young man walked past in the opposite direction, lost in the computer of his arm band. A large screen he passed played a calming song, the beat enhanced by flashing lights that expanded around the nearby buildings. The lyrics spoke of a united world. Toris bit his lip, trying to ignore the words that conditioned minds and planted false realities.

Finding an area amongst the bustling city where he could sit down and rest in relative peace seemed impossible, but eventually he spotted a heated bench where he could be left generally alone, so long as he did not draw attention to himself. Occasionally someone would walk or ride by, but Toris presumed no one would recognize an ordinary in appearance brunette, dressed in plain winter clothing- a light blue coat, a knitted white scarf- nothing that would stand out, or could possibly alert the people that a Nation Representative was among them. It would be attention he did not need.

After getting comfortable and relaxing in the gentle heat, Lithuania pulled up the left sleeve of his jacket, dialing in the numbers for his most trusted friend on the screen that rose from his arm band, before pushing the screen to hover above his lap so he could relax his arms. It took only one ring before the number pad was replaced by the frantic face of his blond haired friend, whose proximity to the screen offered Toris a nice momentary view up the other's nose.

"LIET! Where have you been-!? I've been calling you for ages!"

"I know I- I'm sorry Pol, there has been a lot going on, I did not realize that I could not be contacted-"

"Where the hell are you? Is what Latvia told me the truth- it is, isn't it?" Poland narrowed his eyes, studying Toris. "You're at _his _place, aren't you? I can tell, you know."

"Pol-" Lithuania tried to interrupt.

"I thought you were _gone_, that you had vanished like so of the others- I'm sure that big Ruski has something to do with it all."

"I have not even been gone that long-"

"When I tried to reach you, I got _nothing, _just white noise."

Toris felt his face fall, having made Poland concerned needlessly. "I am alright… sorry for worrying you."

"It's totally not all right, what are you doing with _Russia_?"

"I… I just needed to…" Lithuania looked around nervously, was anyone listening to their conversation? "… do something."

"You said you were done playing those games," the blond said with a seriousness seldom witnessed.

Toris bit his lip. "Things have changed… I thought… I just, had this feeling that…"

"Do you even hear yourself right now?" Poland scoffed. "You need to go home. There is not a damn thing any of us can do anymore except hold on for as long as we can… And you go running back to the cause of it all." The Polish man crossed his arms and looked away.

"Feliks… I did not go running back. I was tired of doing nothing! And… look, I called you because I needed someone else to talk to…. Needed… advice." Poland was not on the top of his list of people to seek for guidance, but he was one of the few Liet knew he could trust. For all the bond's yelling and hash words, Toris knew the other was only worried.

Poland relaxed a little, turning back to stare at Liet's green eyes with his own lighter shade. His eyes… they were duller than usual, Toris observed worriedly. Feliks subsequently had a similar thought, frowning at the sunken edges lining Lithuania's face. They both were tired and worse for wear, and easily recognized this in their friend.

"I just… do not know what to do…" Toris began, knowing he had Poland's attention. "He won't… talk to me. I just know there is something awful going on…"

"Well duh. Where have you been?"

"It's not like Russia is a terrible person…. At least- He never… he just wanted… I have to find out if… how do I get him to speak with me..?" Toris spoke under his breath, staring out past the luminescent screen.

"Liet!" Poland interjected, looking absolutely done with his friend. "Why are you asking _me_? Isn't that _your _specialty?"

"…What?" Lithuania focused back on Poland, creasing his brow.

"You're the only one he opens up to anyways." Feliks stated matter-of-fact, waving his hand. "He only glares at me."

"But how do I get him to speak now… what makes you talk to-"

"Just be there. It has nothing to do with me. It's you." The Polish man pointed directly at Lithuania through his screen, a smile escaping the corner of his lips. "I just keep talking and you always listen, no matter what. It's what I love about you."

The brunet's eyes widened marginally, his mouth parting enough to let in a small intake of air.

"Haha, you should see how speechless you are right now, Liet!" Poland laughed, giving the other a grin. "I do mean it though. You don't give yourself enough credit."

Toris nodded, "I guess…" he trailed off, smiling faintly at Poland.

"I still want you to go home." Feliks added seriously, "You should worry about yourself more."

Toris frowned. How could he worry about himself, when he wasn't even sure what he wished for… what he wanted? "I can't." _Not now Pol, not until I figure this out._

Poland rolled his eyes. "You can do whatever you want, Liet…" he trailed off suddenly, his face falling. Toris mirrored his expression.

_Not quite whatever._

"…Maybe…" Toris added after a moment of silence between them. "..Maybe if I get a hold of Alfred… have you heard anything about America?"

"No!" The abruptness of his answer startled Lithuania. Before he could ask further, Poland cut him off. "Anyways I got to go…! Meeting up with someone."

"Wait, what? Who are-"

"… Liet, just… be careful. Stay away from both of them_. Please_."

The screen went black, and returned to the default call screen with numbers. Toris sighed, swiping the screen away back into his armband, slumping down against the bench as he stared dully up at the sky.

Gray.

That was all he could see, the clouds blending with the translucent shield dome up above to create a dim sky. Occasionally a pod flew past, adding a blimp of light to the dull colors. All around him were colorful lights and pleasant sounds… but yet the dome felt like a giant cage surrounding the city.

He was thankful he did not live here, where the shield protected them from more than the weather, but from everything on the outside.

At least in his home, one could pretend there was still an air of freedom.

Well, there was no use worrying over it right now, he reasoned, getting up and stretching his muscles. There was nothing to do now but buy food and return to the old house.

. . .

Dancing in the light that streamed in from the worn window, the dust from years past danced through the air, refusing to settle like Russia's distressed mind.

Toris…

Would he come back?

Or had he lost him again, just like always?

Had the past few days even happened?

"_Ivan…" the Lithuanian said timidly, entering his office after knocking, his green eyes studying the larger Nation carefully. "I n-need…" the brunet bit his lip, looking nervous. Was Toris that afraid of him?_

"…_to go out for a little while."_

_Russia tensed._

"_I- I'll be back, by tonight..!" Toris added quickly, his hands fretfully reaching up to undue his tied back hair, letting his brown waves fall back down to his shoulders. "You are out of food."_

_Lithuania was wearing an apron. Was he still cleaning? Ivan frowned. That was no good. "You know I can have food here in instant."_

"_Y-yes but… I just want to get the food myself, and I need to get out for a little bit. And my arm band… some of it does not... w-work properly here… for some reason, so I…"_

Ivan wanted to reach out to stop him, to beg Lithuania not to leave him alone. But instead he stared as Lithuania closed the door softly behind him, and listened in dismay until he could no longer hear the Baltic's careful footsteps across the creaking floorboards.

He could already feel the embrace of loneliness, reaching its cold arms around him from behind.

Russia took a swing of vodka from the half empty bottle. That had been three hours ago. He should have asked where Toris was going, but he was anxious of the answer- afraid Liet would never return again. Ivan's violet eyes locked on the floating dust until the particles blurred together, his eyes unwilling to focus.

"_This is it." Toris was glaring, eyes hard and unforgiving. Ashes swirled in the air around him. "Is this what you wanted?" All background noise melted behind the harsh voice of the brunet._

"_This is what happens when you do not comply. If everyone had let us do this, everyone would be more happy. Now we have to live like this, because you would not listen." _

"_Goodbye Ivan." The statement was cold, absolute. Russia felt the pierce of the sword through his heart, the metaphorical blade sharpened by all his past mistakes, as Lithuania turned his back on him, for what could be the very last time. The small nation never looked back- Russia's pleas were lost to the wind, his arms reaching but only grasping tainted air._

_Finally his arms found another, and he was wrapped in a strong embrace that held him close._

"_Why does he not understand? I did all this for you… for him… for everyone." _

_The arms that held him were warm, comforting… Ivan clung to the form desperately._

"_We will make them understand," the familiar voice connected to the embrace assured Russia. A strong voice he once loved to hate, and now hated to love._

The room came back into view. The false feeling of warmth was gone, replaced with the cold familiarly of being alone.

"At least I can count on you to keep me warm," Russia uttered to the bottle in his hand, letting the burning liquid slide down his throat.

_Lithuania was grinning, his eyes forests teeming with life. He chuckled, and it was as though the flowers bloomed around him, filling the air with his kind glow. As soon as Russia became accustomed to the sensations, the smile broadening on his face, it all darkened around him, the feelings withering, losing all color. Toris's eyes dulled and sunk in to his face as though life drained dry from his body. But he still smiled, and it pained Ivan to see him so, still able to put on a kind face._

_Eventually, his smile faded away…_

_Noise._

… _A bell? His body responded automatically in his inebriated state, rising and sauntering toward the door- hitting a side table on the way and only grunting in response- opening it without even considering what may be on the other side._

_There was the face. Toris. Always haunting him._

_Always…_

_Ivan focused on the eyes… still dull, but… emotion… more than he could ever conjure up on his own._

_Toris was… actually there._

_Of course he is there, why would he not be?_

_Why would he?_

Maybe it had all been a dream, Russia pondered, staring blankly ahead. Why would Toris come see him? Why now? It would not be the first time his mind had made up a false reality.

Was he really slipping that far again?

His hand twitched around the glass bottle, suddenly reminded of the sensation of holding Toris four days ago…

The warmth he felt through his fingers that held him carefully, firmly. Seeping through to his chest as he cradled the frail Lithuanian close in his arms.

That first night Ivan had been frightened to get too close, afraid further contact with the Lithuanian might break the illusion he feared he had created. The brief reunion had awakened past and present reservations he had been regrettably trying to drink away, resulting in his estrangement from Toris in attempt to wade through his misgivings.

Above all, he was frightened Toris felt nothing but hatred toward him.

Through his thoughts, Russia diligently listened to the sounds in the house that night as he hid in his office, content at least that Lithuania was still there and had not yet fled.

As he inevitably would.

Eventually he had ceased hearing anything at all. Fear gripped at Russia, and the large nation finally sauntered down the creaky stairs, seeking out the Lithuanian with held breath.

When Toris was found, Ivan sighed, relief coursing through his veins. _He's still here. He is safe._ The Lithuanian had fallen asleep on the couch, curled up almost defensively toward the inside of the cushions, his arms folded close to his body, his legs sprawled out at two different angles. No longer distracted by anxiousness, Russia became aware of the appearance of the room, realizing Toris had likely worked himself to exhaustion- a state which Russia had seen him in more than he cared to admit.

Lithuania groaned, and Russia's attention was diverted back on the sleeping brunet, whose hair fanned all around his head, a few strands even falling in front of his face, rhythmically moving to match the Lithuanian's deep breaths. Ivan reached out to move the offending hair, but paused halfway, changing his course to instead crouch down, gently sliding his arms under Lithuania's back and thighs.

This was no place for Toris to lay.

He did not dare breathe as he carried the worn nation, least he disturb the angel that lay cradled in his arms.

It had not been a tranquil sleep.

Even after Russia laid the turbulent nation down in the nearest bed and carefully tucked him in, he could not bring himself to leave his side.

The pain on Lithuania's face was clear, even now.

He remembered seeing that expression many times in the past, scenes flashing before his mind of Toris, face contorted in worry, pain, fear…

In hatred…

_No matter what I do, I always make it worse…_

…_When did this become empty_? Russia groggily stared at the bottle, eyes burning as he attempted to focus on the glass, perhaps hoping if he looked hard enough, he would spot some vodka he had missed. When none was found, he sat the bottle aside clumsily, only succeeding in knocking the empty glass on its side where it rolled precariously to the edge. Russia disregarded it, more interested in reaching under the desk for a fresh bottle. The sudden movement of the large Nation knocked the desk, sending the bottle off the brink, shattering deafeningly across the floor in the otherwise silent room.

_He threw the bottle, watching the smaller Nation flinch in fear as it shattered beside him, showering the wall with leftover vodka and the floor with broken glass. The nation shook and stared at him with wide eyes as the liquid seeped down the wall and across the floor. Russia grinned eerily, gleefully, yet inside he felt only emptiness._

Russia shook his head, moaning. More vodka. He quickly upturned the new bottle he obtained, and soon found himself slumped, head against the desk, staring blankly toward the window.

"_Toris… are you sure?" Russia asked nervously, staring out the window as he adjusted the collar of his suit. "If I tell him… you really think…" the large Nation trailed off, unable to say what was weighing heavily on his mind._

"_Ivan… just speak from your heart, tell him how you really feel," the Lithuanian said confidently, smile evident in his voice. "If you do not take the chance… you could regret it the rest of your life."_

"_But how could Alfred care about me… how could anyone… "_

"_Ivan…" Lithuania grabbed his sleeve, gently turning the large Nation around to face him. "No matter what happens I… your sisters, and many other people…" Toris placed his hand gently over Russia's heart, feeling the strong tempo even through the thick dress suit, "…we all care about you." _

"You did all that for me, Toris… and I ruined it. What did I do wrong? Why does my heart feel this way? ….What did I do… to Alfred?" Russia moaned, leaning back in his chair with his face upturned, tears escaping out of the corners of his closed eyes as a smile ghosted the edge of his lips.

"There are two monsters in this world now."

. . .

Toris quivered as he leaned against the door, listening with a pounding heartbeat to the distress on the other side.

Only a few vague words could be picked up- mumblings about Alfred, apologies, but mostly muffled sobs and the sounds of sorrow drifted through the aging wood and into Lithuania's attuned ear.

It was fear gained from past experiences that held him heavily in place, preventing him from rushing in and consoling the larger Nation. He had come upstairs to let Russia know he had returned, to ask Ivan if he would care to join him for dinner. From instinct he had stopped and listened against the door, hoping Russia would reveal more which he had been refusing to speak of, but from his location, Liet could hardly distinguish the words as they were.

All that became clear was the height of Lithuania's fears- he could tell without seeing the excessive vodka bottles, the empty unfocusing eyes… without witnessing the wobbly predatory gait or feeling the unexplainable drop in the temperature of the room… from just his ramblings alone, Toris _knew_…

The damage Russia's mind could do when left alone…

_This is not the Soviet Union_, Lithuania assured himself, taking a deep breath and grasping the shirt over his chest in an effort to calm his racing heart. The movement caused his eye to catch the metal band on his left arm, and the realization of his situation brought a sharp twinge of anxiety in his stomach.

He shook his head. There was no time for his worries, his hesitation. Before he could contemplate anymore, Toris gripped the handle with nervous force, pushing the door open slowly.

All sounds ceased but the creaking hinge.

"Ivan..? I am… back," Lithuania spoke gently as he stood just shy of the door, closing it warily behind him, careful not to take his eyes off the motionless Nation.

Gradually Russia sat up, his whole body straightening like an animal suddenly alarmed. His brows creased as he stared toward the Lithuanian in the dimly lit room, his reddened eyes squinting with the effort.

"Would you like s-some dinner…? I got-"

Russia slammed his fist on the desk. Toris jumped, letting out a startled cry.

"Back…. Back-!?" Russia growled, glaring at the wide-eyed Nation. "Heheheh… I am not falling for these tricks again! He will never come back, I scared him away for good… a long time ago!"

"Ivan…" Toris cursed his involuntary trembling, holding his hands together to steady them as he took a step toward the inebriated Nation. "Ivan I am-"

"And what he gave me… what we worked for… I lost that too! I left…. I left…. I ruined everything…."

Despite his pounding heart and unsteady knees, Toris continued forward and around the desk, determined to reach the Russian who continued on as though Lithuania was not even there.

"I was not strong enough-"

"Ivan-!" Toris spoke urgently, cupping the sides of the large Nation's face as he stared unwavering into the dull violet eyes. "Ivan look at me."

Startled, the eyes widened, searching frantically the image in front of him, seeking any sign of falsity.

"I am here, " Toris said gently, pressing his forehead against the Russian's, his brown hair falling to meet ash blond. "I am here, Ivan."

"….Toris," Ivan finally whispered, closing his eyes tight, the last of his tears escaping and sliding down his face. "It was not supposed to happen this way…"

The Lithuanian placed his hands on Ivan's shoulders and pulled his own head away slowly, his eyes urging Russia to continue as he met his gaze.

"Together… he said, with his eyes sparking, giving me his determined, puppy eyes- if we do it together… we could change the world… his dream, I wanted his dream to come true… to protect that. He said- our hearts are strong enough, if we do this together." Russia paused his mumblings, reaching for the vodka on the desk, but Toris put his hand over Ivan's, holding his gaze, his pulse pounding as he listened to the Nation's feelings. "-But then…" Ivan's voice cracked, " he wanted to take it all on, shoulder it all so I wouldn't have to.. because I could not handle it. Because he knew… he knew how the power changes people… knew what I had been through… he thought he was protecting me… and now…"

"Now…?" Lithuania looked urgently at the Nation, hoping he would continue to speak, but the other looked down dejectedly, life leaving his eyes once again.

"He won't give it back… It hurts!" Russia looked up wide-eyed, gripping the front of his shirt tightly in his clinched fist. Startled, Liet stepped back, but the large Nation caught his arm and pulled him close, embracing him tightly in his lap.

Lithuania shivered. It was too much, he was scared, he had always been scared, for himself and his people. For Russia. This was too much. What was he doing here? Here in Ivan's arms… after he had promised himself… after all he had done…

He could still feel Ivan's pain.

And it hurt just as much as his own.

. . .

The morning was quiet, yet serenity had fallen over the room as the two Nations sat across from each other, a simple breakfast laid out on the table composed of rye bread and cheese. Tentatively Toris took a sip of his tea, glancing up warily to meet the eyes he felt gazing in his general direction.

Russia smiled. The large Nation had hardly touched his food, but seemed cheerier now, more at ease around the Lithuanian. Since that night, he had spent less time holed up alone- instead hovering near anyplace the brunet chose to be, while still keeping a considerable distance. Toris was glad that Ivan was returning to his old self, even if only little by little- and even if accompanied by the unnerving feeling of constantly being watched. It was not an unfamiliar sensation by far, so Toris brushed the tingling feeling aside and continued to initiate conversation with Ivan as much as he could. More often than not the talking was only casual and simple, but any progress brought Liet one step closer to finding out what Russia had actually been doing all this time… all the time that Lithuania had thought he was done with Ivan, once and for all.

A ring echoed throughout the kitchen, the sound of bells bouncing off the walls in resonating tones that rang clearly in their ears. The two nations froze, eyes locked, as the doorbell finished playing its song around them.

Panic flashed in Ivan's eyes.

"I-Ivan, who-"

"Go upstairs," Ivan said firmly, eyes hardening but still betraying his alarm.

Fear clinched Lithuania's insides. Did Russia know who was at the door? Who could cause such a reaction in him?

"Go! _Now_!" Russia rose harshly from his seat and headed around toward Lithuania, ushering the smaller Nation up and toward the stairs. After a moment of consideration Ivan grabbed Liet's plate and mug, hastily shoving them in the sink. "Do not let him know you are here!"

The bell rang out again.

Toris hesitated at the first step, but an urgent glare sent his direction compelled his feet to continue up. By the time he reached the top and glanced back, Ivan had already begun heading toward the front door, which was just within view of the staircase. Toris had intended to continue further down the unlit hallway to hide in another room, but Russia's voice stopped him in his tracks, freezing him mid stride.

"Fredka…"

Lithuania sucked in a breath, quickly flattening himself again the wall, attuning his ear so as to not miss a word.

"Hey there big guy, it's been too long."

* * *

_Ummm, whoops! That took a while! I'm so sorry, this chapter was just the hardest to write, because I was still setting things up, so finding motivation and actually being happy with what I wrote did not come easy._

_But I have not stopped writing!_

_Please, if you read it and are interested in it, even if just a little, please let me know! Writing becomes much more enjoyable if you are aware there is at least someone out there waiting to read and enjoying what you write._


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